Privacy Policy
Effective as of our last anchor deployment. Which drifted.
The authoritative privacy policy for all Specific Industries properties is maintained at specificindustries.com. View Terms of Use
Last updated: When the tide was out. We think it was a Tuesday.
1. What We Collect
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Much like our anchors, our data collection has zero holding power. We don't have a database. We don't have a server room. Captain Chuck has a notebook where he writes down “cool boat names he saw at the marina” but that's a personal project and not affiliated with this website.
Your shopping cart is stored in your browser's local storage, which means it lives on your computer, not ours. If you clear your cookies, your cart disappears, much like our anchors disappear when you deploy them in a current. We find the parallel poetic.
2. Cookies & Tracking
We use Google Analytics because someone told Chuck it was important. We also use Vercel Analytics because it came with the hosting and Skip couldn't figure out how to turn it off. These tools tell us things like “someone visited the website” and “they left.” We do not know who you are, where you live, or whether you actually bought an anchor. Big Mike checks the mailbox every day just in case an order shows up. It has not, because this is a satirical website.
3. Data Sharing
We share your data with the following parties: no one. We cannot share what we do not have. Reef Henderson once suggested we “leverage our user data for strategic buoyancy insights” but since our user data consists of Google Analytics page views and Big Mike's notebook of cool boat names, the strategic value was determined to be approximately zero. Reef was asked to go back to his whiteboard.
4. Your Rights
You have the right to access any data we have about you. Since we have no data about you, this right is both absolute and completely useless. You also have the right to be forgotten, which, given that we never knew you existed, has already been granted. You're welcome.
5. Security
Our website is secured by HTTPS, which the little padlock in your browser confirms. Beyond that, our security infrastructure consists of Captain Chuck's WiFi password (“anchor123” — please do not use this), a seagull that sits on the router, and the general obscurity of being a website about inflatable anchors. We have never been hacked because we have never been worth hacking. We consider this our most effective security measure.
6. Contact & Disputes
If you have concerns about this privacy policy, please contact our Director of Customer Amazement, Skip Bayliner, who will respond with enthusiasm that may or may not address your actual concern. For serious privacy inquiries, Captain Chuck is available between tides. He will listen carefully, nod thoughtfully, and then ask if you'd like to see a demonstration of the Heavy Duty Pro. All disputes are resolved by Big Mike, whose resolution method involves a firm handshake and the phrase “I think we're good here.”