Terms of Service

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Last updated: Sometime between tides. We weren't paying close attention.

1. Acceptance of Terms

By using this website, you agree to these terms. By purchasing our products, you agree to even more terms. By inflating our products, you have entered into a binding agreement with air itself, and at that point, these terms are the least of your concerns. If you do not agree to these terms, please navigate away from this website. Your inflatable anchor, if deployed, will also navigate away. From everything. That's what it does.

2. Product Disclaimer

Inflatable Anchors Marine guarantees that your anchor will inflate. We make no further guarantees. Specifically, we do not guarantee that your anchor will anchor, hold, grip, clasp, secure, moor, berth, or otherwise prevent the lateral movement of any watercraft. Our product is an inflatable object shaped like an anchor. What you do with that information is between you and the sea.

3. Liability

We are not responsible for boats that drift, float, sail away, relocate without consent, visit neighboring marinas uninvited, cross international waters, or embark on journeys of self-discovery. We are also not responsible for seagull damage, sunburn sustained while inflating, arguments with dock neighbors about “what counts as an anchor,” or existential crises triggered by the realization that you paid money for an inflatable anchor. Captain Chuck has experienced all of the above and considers them part of the boating lifestyle.

4. Returns & Refunds

All sales are final. Much like deploying an inflatable anchor in a strong current — once it's out there, it's out there. We accept exchanges for products that arrive in a non-inflatable state (i.e., won't inflate at all). If your anchor inflates but does not anchor, that is not a defect. That is the product performing as designed. If you used the Rapid Deflator on your anchor, that is also not a defect. That is you using the Rapid Deflator on your anchor.

5. Warranty

All products come with our “Good Faith Guarantee,” which guarantees, in good faith, that we put a product in the box. The Good Faith Guarantee covers manufacturing defects (holes present at time of purchase, missing valves, wrong color). It does not cover: punctures, UV degradation, encounters with marine life, encounters with the Rapid Deflator, over-inflation, under-inflation, inflation by unauthorized pumps, use in conditions involving water, or acts of seagull. “Acts of seagull” is defined at Captain Chuck's sole discretion.

6. Dispute Resolution

All disputes shall be resolved by Captain Chuck Denton in his office (the dock). Chuck will listen to your complaint, consult the company handbook (a laminated index card that says “The customer is always drifting”), and render a decision within one to three tides. Appeals may be directed to Big Mike Portside, who will agree with Chuck. Further appeals may be submitted to the seagull on the router, who has never responded to anything and is unlikely to start now.

7. Modifications

We reserve the right to modify these terms at any time, for any reason, without notice. In practice, we have never modified them because no one has ever read them, including us. If we do modify them, the changes will take effect immediately and will be announced via a message in a bottle launched from Pier Nowhere. If you receive the bottle, the terms have changed. If you don't receive the bottle, the terms have still changed. This is how maritime law works. Probably.